Ashes Between Us

Act I – The fear

How does one love when the soul itself quivers in shadow?
I saw you—
a flicker of light in the corridors of my solitude—
and yet I recoiled,
haunted by the fire I feared you would ignite.

I pushed you away,
not for lack of desire,
but for fear.
Fear of surrender,
fear of letting someone see the fractures
I had buried in the crypts of my heart.

Each step you took toward me,
I retreated deeper into shadow.
Each word of warmth,
I met with cold,
a mask forged from trembling bones and whispered warnings.

I built walls from silence,
cast nets of avoidance,
constructed fortresses from the terror of exposure,
so that the storm I sensed in your gaze
could not sweep me into ruin.

And yet…
in the dark, quiet corners of my mind,
I hungered for your nearness.
I ached for the warmth,
the understanding,
the reckless intimacy
I could not yet bear.

In that retreat,
I became a ghost to myself,
a trembling shadow lurking at the edges of your light,
knowing that to step into your arms
was to walk into fire,
and perhaps never emerge.

I was not ready.
I could not yet surrender to the storm,
the naked exposure of my trembling soul.
So I hid,
so I ran,
so I became the shadow
I feared you would consume.