Why is it that we focus so much on other people’s opinions? I’ll tell you why! You’re insecure with yourself. If you need other people’s opinions to help motivate or validate yourself, then you’re not happy. If your whole life is revolved with the simple question, of what are they gonna think about this or that, then you’re already fucked (It’s okay. We have all been there). You need to start adopting the mindset of screw them, it’s about me, right now. (sounds harsh but your life needs to be about you not them.) Take the bull by the horns and stop letting other people chose your life for you. You really wanna live a life controlled by others your whole life? Stop being dependent on someone else opinions and start living a life that is completely yours. Who cares what your mom’s neighbor thinks, your demotivating teacher from grade school thinks (we all have had one), the prettiest girl in your hometown thinks, and everyone else on planet earth thinks! Your life isnt about anyone but you! So Fuck them!
Myth one: I cant do that until they say so!
Stop looking for other people’s opinions, because they are not gonna show up every time you need to or want them to. Other people aren’t gonna see your vision the way you do! And let’s be quite honest, other people don’t give a fuck about you! If you’re reading that previous sentence and think well I have several people who do care about me, then that’s not what I’m talking about. Of course, you got someone in your family that loves you, but are they gonna fight in the mud with you? I’ll answer that for you. The answer is no! Are they gonna take your exams for you? The answer is no. Are they gonna go to the gym for you? The answer is hell no. If you’re saying I’ve got an amazing group of friends and they would die for me (that’s extreme). Would they honestly show up for you every single time you doubt yourself? Are they gonna be your cheerleader every single day? Hell no! Sorry honey, but nobody is ever gonna give you what you want, every single time you want it. Everybody will fall short on your standard. Why? Because you don’t need (shouldn’t need) to constantly confirm your life choices with another person. If you are a person who needs constant confirmation, then you are dependent on that person’s opinion. Yep! You heard me; you are dependent! Now, that may be a tough pill to swallow but swallow it anyway. If you think this doesn’t apply to you, then think about the last time you wore an unusual outfit for you, think about the last time you said something bolder than normal, think about the last time you ate something unusual , think about a time when you posted something strange on your social media, and think about any time you did something different than your norm. If you did any of these things, and your first thought is, I wonder what _______ (Insert name or names here) is gonna think or do I look okay compared to ________(Insert name or names here), then you are not valuing yourself. Whoever’s opinion that you are trying to seek approval from doesn’t care about you. Their thoughts or feelings about you shouldn’t be any concern to you!
Women are the main ones to care about what other people think of her. For all my beautiful feminists out there, girl I’m with you, but numbers and stats don’t lie. As of a 2011 survey, 90% of white women don’t like their bodies and 70% of African American women don’t like their bodies. What does that say as a society when the majority of women aren’t comfortable in their skin? Women use each other as measuring devices for beauty, but they don’t realize that whom they are using to measure, is unrealistic or unattainable. All of us women are guilty of thinking that we aren’t good enough with the way we look, so I won’t wear that outfit. (I’m told old or I’m too fat). All of us women are guilty of thinking that we aren’t good enough in our careers, so we will wait till we are 100% qualified for a job promotion. (A man applies for a job when he is like 60% qualified and the rest he bullshits).
If you’re wondering what do women not liking their bodies and feeling underqualified in a work environment has to do with people being dependent, then you haven’t been paying attention. Women are the main ones who consistently need that confirmation from others, or need that validation for doing something. Women Wake Up! Einstein once said, “The definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result”. We are doing the same thing every day, and the same thing as everyone else, and we think that one day we are gonna magically love ourselves, and be at the top in our careers. WAKE UP!!!
Truth : Women are no different than a man
If you wanna be different than who you are today, then you need to start doing things differently. It sounds so simple. Because change is that simple, and all you need to do is stop saying you can’t and believe in yourself. Stop waiting for someone to tell you that you are finally ready to do something or that you can finally wear that crazy outfit. Let’s take a page out of the men’s playbook, and let’s bull shit the 40% we don’t know! Nobody is ever 100% qualified for a job unless they are doing the job. We need to start believing that we are worthy and we need to start valuing ourselves with more pride. Men take the risk and they seem to not care what anyone thinks about them(even when they are wrong). This idea isn’t arrogant, but it’s saying that I believe enough in myself even if I’m wrong. It’s okay if we aren’t 100% ready, then we as women need to use our confidence, to make up the rest of it.
Dark&Stormi 
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